It's amazing how the right haircut can make you feel wonderful! In a sea of personal upheaval, it is a little buoy of light. But it's also a rather large milestone in my undeclared, not yet settled-upon, yet ongoing, transition to womanhood. Though I can make it look masculine for work, by default it is definitely a feminine hairstyle.
I had a new feeling the other day when going from a female gender presentation to male. Often I feel sad when I go back to guy mode, but this time I felt like I was getting into drag (or drab: DRessed As a Boy). In other words, I felt like presenting as female was my default and that presenting as male required work and was something of a disguise. This seems pretty significant to me.
Before this, I rarely looked at myself in the mirror when not in full-on Wendy mode; I really didn't like the guy I saw. Now, I find I'm looking at myself and smiling. With the new hairstyle and my beard shadow gone, I can see a woman in the mirror, even without makeup on. That feels so right.
