Days of Future Passed

It's a long-standing personal tradition to ruminate on the year gone by.  But this time around, I wasn't sure I was going to continue the tradition. I just didn't seem to have the desire to look back, and I think that's a positive sign that I'm beginning to live more in the present than the past.  However, the spirit moved me this morning, so here I am at the keyboard.

2017 was, in some ways, not a good year, especially if one considers the social backsliding that began last January and continued throughout the year.  On a personal level, I was sick for most of the last quarter of the year, which tended to blight my outlook quite a bit.  Work was very stressful.  My vacation with friends was derailed by hurricanes.

On the other hand, the year had much to recommend it.  It was my first living full-time as a woman, for instance. I began reconnecting with old friends and strengthening friendships with newer ones.  There was the Women's March and the life-changing leadership conference I attended.  And best of all, depression was nowhere in evidence for the first time in my post-pubescent life.  Still, at times I felt a little lost and lonely.  Maybe that's the human condition.  But I'm looking forward with hopes for the new year.

First of all, I hope that my overall health will improve.  My other hopes kind of depend on that one.  I hope that I can be more involved in some aspect of social justice work.  I hope that I can get more music back in my life.  I hope that my working life will improve, and that I have more time with friends, and perhaps even family.

Finally, I anticipate at least two significant journeys ahead.  One is a physical journey abroad, which I am greatly looking forward to.  The other is an emotional journey toward reopening my heart for new romance.  I still miss Pen and I will love her forever, but I feel ready to stick my toe back into the dating waters.  I know it won't be easy.  Considering my age, gender identity, sexual orientation, political and spiritual beliefs, and the predominant culture in this area, it seems highly unlikely that I will find anyone.  It seems even more so when my relationship with Pen has raised my standards so much--I will not settle for anything less than a respectful, loving partnership.  Still, I want to try, and I think the journey will be interesting in and of itself, especially given my changed social circumstances.

As at the beginning of every new year, I have many hopes and fears, and I know all of you have your own.  Best wishes to each of you on your journey.