I Forgot to Remember to Forget

It's been just a little over a year since I began living full-time as a woman.  During the past year, I have sometimes wondered if I will ever stop being so conscious that I am transgender, and just come to think of myself as an ordinary woman.  I have recently figured out that that's unlikely; not because I'm obsessed with my transgender identity, but because I lack cisgender privilege.

Before I explain more fully, let me say that my experiences so far have been overwhelmingly positive.  I seem to be accepted and identified as a woman most of the time.  I still have a job, a place to live, and I still have almost all my friends and some of my family. To quote Joe Walsh, "life's been good to me so far."

Still, I am very aware that my situation is, and likely will always be, somewhat precarious.  Our society is still quite a distance away from fully accepting transgender people; recent actions by the current administration, like banning us from the military and trying to take away our employment protections, highlight this very clearly.  Basically, what it boils down to is this:  if people perceive me as cisgender, I can expect to have no difficulties beyond those women normally face (which are not inconsiderable). But if I'm perceived as transgender, there are likely to be ramifications.  Let me give some examples.

• If I go to a public restroom or changing room, will I be harassed?  Will security or police be called?
• Will I be denied advancement or given unfairly poor evaluations at work?
• If I go on a job interview, will I be given a fair chance, or turned away because of my identity?
• Will potential dates reject me because I'm trans?
• If I go to a healthcare provider, will I be harassed, ridiculed, or denied service?
• If I visit another church, will I be turned away or driven out?
• If I perform music in a public place, will I be harassed or physically assaulted?
• If I go through a full-body scanner in an airport, will the TSA detain and ridicule me?
• If I interact with the justice system, will I be treated fairly?
• If, god forbid, I am arrested for some reason, will I be placed in jail with men?  If that happens, will I only be verbally assaulted, or will I be beaten up, raped, or murdered?

I am not imagining these things; they have all happened to transgender people I know or have read about in the news.  So you see, I don't have the luxury of forgetting that I'm trans.  If I ever did, there are many people who would be only too glad to remind me, and show me exactly what they think my proper place is.